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If public-speaking isn't something you find difficult, then you can substitute it for whatever makes you nervous. Maybe for you it is going on roller-coasters or telling someone you care about that you love them for the first time. Remember that nerd that always looked like he owned the class when he got up there to give his presentation?Not only was he confident, but he also made it painfully clear that he knew exactly what he was talking about - probably better even than the teacher.

You might not be able to empathize with the difficulty of approaching women, but this fact tells you pretty much all you need to know. Confronting a good friend about something very important to you?To get a girl without her prior interest, he "just" needs to impress her with his confidence and bearing when he approaches.He "just" needs to be calm and carry the conversation without making himself look like an idiot.Imagine that every time you wanted to go on a first date to a guy, you first had to get up and speak in front of a full classroom or conference.Imagine you are walking down the aisle in the grocery store and a tall, attractive man turns towards you and is about to say something, when suddenly everything freezes and you find yourself sitting in a high-school classroom, being told that next week you will be expected to speak in front of the class, alone, for 15 minutes about an assigned topic.

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The guy who stares at the girl across the bar but never approaches knows that this will be difficult to do when his pride, reputation and success all hinge on his performance (in fact, as we know from the quote above, he judges that it is too difficult, maybe impossible, and never approaches).

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